How to Ensure You'll Have a Completely Unproductive Week (And It's Only Thursday!)

• On Sunday afternoon, drink three cups of really strong coffee.  Don't forget to load 'em up with sugar.  Fly higher than a kite 'til that evening.  Then get the strong urge to vomit.  This feeling won't go away for a long time.

• On Monday, go into town.  Return your library books and congratulate yourself on how responsible you are. 
• Drink more coffee when the waitress misunderstands your lunch order.  Feel your heart rate spike.

• Wake up Tuesday.  Be prepared to take on the day.  Then fall asleep again.
• Wake up three hours later. Oops.
• Reason that it's already afternoon, so the day is shot. 
• Shower.  
• Put on clothes. (Hey, these tights have a huge run in the leg. Wow, this dress is short.)
• Put on makeup. (Nothing says "learning" like purple eyeshadow!)
• Realize that you look like a streetwalker. 
• Streetwalk yourself to the library, which of course is closed, as May 1st is a Swedish public holiday.
• Observe public holiday by doing very little.

• Go to class on Wednesday. Wear a sweater.
• Decide your sweater is too hot.  It's too bulky.  The sleeves are too big.  Keep up this internal monologue 'til you cannot take it anymore and fling it into a corner of your room as soon as you return from class, vowing not to look at it ever again. 
• Lounge by the lake and try to get tan. 
• Okay.  Time to learn. 
• March into the library, steeled for reading and  Latin American paper-writing.  But first, have some more coffee and check Facebook.  You've worked hard.  You've earned it. 
• At long last, hunt for the book about Latin American globalization that you need to write said paper.  
• Discover this book is not in its ordained shelf spot.  Or anywhere else. 
• What?
• What?!?
• WHAAAAAAAT?!?!?!?!??!?!
• All right, calm down.  Breathe.  Course books are not allowed to be checked out.  It has to be somewhere.
• BUT WHERE? 
• Look everywhere.
• It isn't anywhere.
• Give up on that for the day (it's obviously not meant to happen right now) and decide to study for yet another political science course. 
• BUT WAIT. There is no one in the 3rd floor study room.  This makes it, of course, the opportune place to practice pirouetting.  Do so.

• On Thursday, drop your Latin American Social Movements & Whatnot course.  It is a beautiful feeling.